Busier Than A One-Legged Man In A Butt-Kickin' Contest

...well, that's what I told my sister anyway. She wanted to make sure I was still alive as I hadn't shown up here in awhile. Seriously, my head is spinning around furiously and steam is, in fact, coming out of my ears. And, the odd thing is, I'm not even completely sure why I'm so busy. I know it has something to do with the fact that I have two auditions in a week (after not working for, oh, a year and a half - the creaking you hear is the rust in my acting ability), we're about to go to Canada for two weeks and we're having our entire house painted while we're away which has proven to be the catalyst for some desperately needed spring (fall) cleaning, and, of course, four days after we return we're having a small party for fifty or so of our dearest friends. Although I think this frantic pace has more to do with the fact that Taeya is not sleeping and subsequently either am I so I'm living on some weird 24-hour schedule in which I'm lucky to get four hours of sleep and the rest of the time I'm hopped up on one (or two) pots of coffee and an inordinate amount of chocolate. I am the picture of perfect health and sanity.

The acting thing is proving to be surprising. I figured things had probably changed, what with having a baby and all the subsequent evolving that has occurred. I didn't know if I would have anything to offer or even be remotely interested. I've discovered that I do and I am. I actually think I'm more flexible and interesting now as an actor than I was before. Also, I know my heart expanded eight million fold when Taeya was born and that seems to have seeped into my work. I think one of the reasons that I'm probably more interesting is because, underneath all of this work, I am torn emotionally and physically by the idea of acting while trying to be a full-time mom....can I call this creative tension?? How do I make these two things work together? I have no answers. At the moment I've decided to be a spectator in my life and I'm curious to see how it's all going to unfold.

The reality, tonight, is that I should be doing everything and anything but writing this. My to-do list is way too long. But I needed to breathe so here I am taking deep breaths and hoping that the packing fairy will arrive around midnight. I'd better get to sleep before she gets here or she might decide that she's not needed.